Tips to co-construct antidote (1) Via unique outcome (#1)

Aim or sub-task           Guiding questions
Explore unique outcomes Have you ever seen your child showing self-control? Has she ever decided to control him/herself instead of losing it? Has he ever decided to do something different other than melting down? Has she ever done something different to avoid getting to a place where melting down seems unavoidable?   What did you do in that occasion, which helped her to control herself? What did you do right after, when you noticed she was putting herself together? How did your child respond when you did that? If by exploring this episode in depth we could learn something about your capacity to foster inner control in your child, would you be interested in doing that?  
Internalize personal agency You mentioned that you did something different on that occasion, how did you do that? How did you manage to abstain from attempting to control her behavior, and tried instead opening space so that he could control himself? Was there anything different that you thought or felt that made you stronger, so that you could respond differently?
Link personal agency with personal resources or skills Where did you learn that? What does this skill or ability tell about yourself as a person?
Recruit a supporting team Who could help you to make good decisions? Who could help you to help? If ‘blowing up’ was taking control over you, what could your dad do to help you get stronger? Who could help your dad help you? Who else could help you?
Inquire about future effects of unique outcome   If you had further opportunities to support your child’s inner control in the next few days/weeks, what do you think would happen to the problem? Would its presence (or power to influence your relationship with your daughter) increase or decrease? What difference would this make for you?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *