| Aims or “steps” | Guiding questions |
| Explore extraordinary events | Was there ever a time when your daughter showed responsibility or surprised you about how well she did something?
What did you do that time that allowed her to do that? What did you do that time that allowed you to notice that she had done that? What did you do right after when you noticed she was taking over? How did she respond when you did that? If exploring in depth this event we could learn something about your ability to build their learning capacity, for example through noticing your successes, would you be interested? |
| Internalize personal agenda | You said that this time you did something different; how you did you do that?
How were you able to ‘forget’ everything bad that had happened and assess this exception when she managed to reconnect and listen to what you said? How were you able to refrain from blaming and try to open a space for her to become aware of what had happened? Was there something different that you thought or observed or felt was made stronger to respond differently? |
| Connect with person’s skills | Where did you learn it from?
What does this skill say about you? What kind of person are you? |
| Recruit a support team | Who could help you make even stronger? Who could help you do it?
If the impulse to criticize was beating you, what could others do to help you? If ”playing dumb” was beating you, what could your father do to help you? Who else can help you? Who could help your dad to help you? |
| Investigate extraordinary event effects in the future | If you had more opportunities to support your daughter’s inner control in the upcoming weeks, what do you think would happen to the problem?
Would it increase or decrease its presence and influence in your relationship with your daughter? What would this mean for you? |
