| Aims or “steps” | Guiding questions |
| Formulate hypothetical solution | Imagine that this problem of going crazy or disconnecting is solved, what would happen? How would it be different? What would you see? What would you hear? What would you feel? |
| Identify what facilitated the hypothetical solution | What might have you done that helped to have more connection (in your imagined example)? When the problem was resolved, how do you think you would respond? When you responded like this, what effect do you imagine it would have on the other? |
| Identify exception | When did you resist criticizing and blaming?
What did you do different on that occasion? What difference did you notice when you did this? How else did you empower yourself and didn’t let the critical voice drive you? |
| Extend exception in the present | What difference did you notice in your relationship with your son when you did this?
What difference did you notice in yourself? What did your family members notice? Who was the first one to notice the difference? Second? Third? How did they respond? How did you feel when they did this? What did you do? How did you do it? How do you manage to resist the temptation to criticize? How did you manage your fear/anxiety when you saw your son…? Where did you learn to do that? How did you get ready? How did you prepare to take this step? In what relationships or personal resources did you trust to do this? How was the rest of your day when this happened? What difference did you notice later? |
| Co-create a new future with the person | When you act on these ideas, what difference will it make in how you feel about yourself?
When you feel this way, what will be easier? How does this guide in a new direction in your life? While you continue in that direction, how would your new future differ from your old future? |
