Tips to weaken problematic interactions (2) via externalization (#30)

Aim or sub-task         

Guiding questions

Name the problem: negotiate an experience-near formulation for the problem

How would you call this problem?

Attacking? Giving up? Giving in? Hopelessness? Controlling emotions? Abuse? Not respecting others? Something else?

Explore the negative effects of the problem

Does the problem (e.g., ‘Attacking’) make you do things that you don’t like to do, or that you regret afterwards? (e.g., “giving in”, “tolerating aggression”, “colluding with violence”)

What else does the problem make you do?
What does your mom/dad/child do when you are under the influence of the problem?  

How strong would you say the problem is right now?

What makes the problem bigger (or stronger)?

Explore unique outcomes (for more details check up on “tips via unique outcome”).

Did you ever managed/beat the problem (e.g., the  ‘giving in’; the ‘attacking’)? How have you successfully coped with ‘violent reactions’ as a family in the past?

Did ‘the problem’ ever complied with you, instead of you complying with it?

When was (bearer of problem) able to lower the intensity (or frequency) of the problem?

When was (bearer of problem) able to do something with the problem? How did you notice? What was the first thing you noticed?

What did you/her do?

What did your mom notice? What did she do?

What happened on that occasion?

What did others say about this?

Explore unique outcomes in the future

If (unique outcome) happened again in the next few days/weeks, what would happen to the problem?

Do you think its influence in your life would increase or decrease?

What difference would this make for you?

What would be different in your life? What else?

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