Tips to weaken problematic interactions (3) via externalizing a problem-strengthening IDEA (#2)

Aims or “steps” Guiding questions
Explore nature, story, effects and tactics of the problem What worries you most about this problem (“getting crazy”)?

This idea of “owning one’s mistakes” is the only way to educate him?

Where did this idea come from?

How does it interfere with your life?

How has this idea affected the relationship with your son?

Where does this idea have the most influence?

How does it manage to convince you that it the only way?

When did you begin to obey blindly this idea?

What is it that seems unacceptable to you? Is it the fact that your child runs away, their seemingly inability to learn (how to admit their own mistakes), or that they feel unloved…

or perhaps some other principle?

Why it is important for you?

Explore extraordinary events Has there ever been a time where your son didn’t go crazy?

Has there ever been a time that in the face of madness, you responded in a different way, without changing?

What happened that time?

What did you do?

What did he do?

What did your husband say?

What was the first thing you noticed?

What might have helped this to happen?

What else have you done that has helped him recognize his mistakes?

Explore effects of the extraordinary events in the future If your son understood that you don’t like to criticize him, but that for you to err has a positive side (as a source of learning).

What do you think would happen to the problem?

What would this mean for you?

Who would be the most and least surprised?

What would change in your life?

What would change in the relationship with your son?

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